"It was labor day weekend, I was seventeen ..."

heading up to OU and OSU tomorrow ... yay for college!

"I've got sunshine, on a cloudy day ... when its cold outside I've got the month of May ... i guess you'd say "what can make me feel this was?" ... yeah im not gunna say my girl ... lol BUT i have realized that although life just sometimes sucks, you can still have sunshine on a cloudy day ... today is one of those days... TERRIBLE DAY!! ahhh soo bad but on the bright side, it wasnt unbearable, im still smiling, im still laughing, and i just remind myself how happy i am to be here ... God is amazing, and does answer prays, the power of pray, man it is sooo strong....God is the only guy you can always count on and makes you feel better in hard times ... He is amazing!! best guy to talk to by far ...

okay soo today, i go to the carwash because my car was a mess ... got it washed, drive home my antenna like falls off ... soo im like what the mo .... the carwash people YANKED it out and its not a removable antenna ... so i go back and am like "yall broke my antenna and i need it fixed" sooo i talk to the manager and he is like "o just go to the mercades place in dallas and they will put it on your car since its under warenty" ... so i freak out and was like "you broke my antenna off my car and you want me TO DRIVE TO DALLAS TO FIX YOUR MISTAKE!!" and so i was like no you will fix it and im not driving there ... so he calls some guy and was like okay drive to north richland hills and get it fixed there ... so i go (im really hacked off about it) ... anyways i have to drive down this dirt road (remeber i just got my carwashed) to go to this dang cheap hick place to get my antenna fixed ... well the guy there pulls apart my trunk and after 30 mins fixes it ... so im hacked because not only did that take an hour out of my day to fix the dang carwashes mistake but i paid for a carwash and my car was now dirty and i paid for them to break my dang antenna .... and the stupid manager didnt even give me a free car wash or a refund or anything!!! yeah sooo moral of the story i am sick of being pushed around and that was absolutely ridiculous ... and do not go to Simoniz carwash ever!!!

i miss college ppl ... and wish soo badly i was in college right now and didnt have another year of highschool left because being a senior was fun for like a day and now i want to go to college and get the heck outta here!!!! OUT OF GRAPEVINE!

on the bright side of life ........ i can still smile :)

God Bless!

"We're really young and we're gonna screw up a lot and you know we're gonna keep changing our minds and our hearts and through all that the only real thing we could offer each other is forgiveness. Don't let yourself get so angry that you stop loving because one day you'll wake up from that anger and the person you love will be gone"

"Did it ever occur to you that you're so caught up in trying to make the right choice that you've never stopped to consider the possibility that there may not be a right choice, or a wrong choice, just a bunch of choices? All the really exciting things in life require more courage than we currently have, a deep breath and a leap. The kind of fear you're talking about... sometimes it's how you know what's worthwhile."

“You don't come across that many people that give you butterflies, you just don’t”

weird source but good quotes ... thats all for now
God bless

eurika! i got new comments ... blast the crazyness of blog

soo comments on my blog are down ... its sad really ... uhh soo not too thrilled right now ... life seems to be getting worse step by step ... people make dumb decisions to not go to school and other people are in instensive care at the hospital ... yeah thats the jist of it ... man i wish it was last year ... everything was alright then ... well not "alright" but better ...

i do seem to be pretty productive though lately ... which is good

school is fun .... which is good

...okay soo trying to be positive ...

Please pray for my grandfather if you read this ... he is really sick

thanks ya'll and God Bless

"ahh when troubled think of green lights on a cool night! ;) " ... thats what KP wrote on my comment thingy ... hmmm it made me smile ... truely is nothing better than driving down HWY 26 and hitting every green light ... i guess you are outta reality ... because we rarely hit the all the "green lights of life" ... i mean taking it to the next level (something alway fun to do) ... in life it is never green light green light green light ... and so on ... i mean we get a few greens and then a red and then maybe a yellow and another red and then you throw another green in there .... thats life though right? ... okay so lets paint a scenerio ... boy asks you out (green light), then he stands you up (red light), you sit on the couch eating icecream instead (yellow light), you fail a test (red light), you are first inline at lunch (green light) .... ** note i made up that scenerio (my life is not that exciting) .... but it is never "the hottest boy asked me out then i got a 100 on my test and go accepted to harvard and then when i pulled in my drive way my dad bought me a brand new car and so i went to my friends and they threw me a party and ...." << yeah thats not the real world ... that is an example of GREEN LIGHT GREEN LIGHT ... but im not gunna lie sometimes life can be like that .... i found this quote ... "Growing up sucks. Not all kisses are magic, and most boys do not live up to your expectations, but there are those times when everything, I mean love, romance, relationships, it all falls together perfectly and it's incredible." ~ Dawson’s Creek ...

God Bless!

okay sooo 30 comments is awesome ... thanks kids

well im just really not happy right now, yes me not happy, im usually all optimistic and yay for life ... but i am really stressed out right now, everything is so complicated ... soo school is okay, other than reading sheist loads of stuff it is nothing i cant handle, well then you throw fillies in there which is time consuming but i can still handle it, then you put the SATs in there ... stressful but i can handle it, then you throw in college crap ... this is where it gets rough i need to still visit like 10 schools ... i dont have weekends to visit 10 schools or time ... then i need to apply to 11 schools ... and i need to do all that i can to get into all 11 schools ... now what i want more than anything right now is to just get into Wake Forest early admissions ... then all the rest wouldnt be an issue ... but i know that its about a 50% chance sooo yeah ... thats stressful .... then you throw my grandfather in the picture where everyday after school we go up to HEB hospital for like 3 hours and eat with him ... he is getting open heart surgery ... and you know i just pray to God daily he will be okay ... soo then on top of all that you lay out family stuff ... and then other clubs and organizations ... and ughhh i want to get this college stuff over with ... i just want to be in! and it worries me because when you want something soooooo bad you get even more sad if you dont get it ... and its like okay i have done everything right throughout high school ive taken all the hardest classes gotten all As ... and then i dont want to of worked my ace of to get rejected from some school because my dang parents are not alumnis or something like that .... uhhh and you know what is wonderful ... EVERYONE ELSE IS GOING THROUGH EXACTLY WHAT I WROTE TO SOME EXTENT .... soo i feel for ya and obviously uhhhh just as stressed out as the rest of you ... (i had to vent)

and to top things off ... im a jerk but a jerk who tried everything in the power to make things right again ... and there is only so much you can do ... sooo you know what im finally going to stop trying with something and SCREW IT because i dont have time to care about that crap anymore .... you need people in your life who bring you up and are always there when you need them ... not someone who you are just always there for ... its stupid, one way relationships do not and never will work ... sooooo yeah screw it, i can finally say screw that ... and as sad as it is, i know i just gotta let it be and get over it ... man i hate this

hmm on a brighter note! cole is coming home today COLE IS COMING HOME TODAY ... COLE IS COMING HOME TODAY!! he has been gone for 3 monthes and in excommunication and he is home! home! home! Home! ... but then he leaves for OU but still he is HOME! thats sooooo frackin exciting!

hmm ... saw ponder yesterday, what a nice kid he is ... a fun one too ...

school is cool ... yeah cool i guess .. easy as chesse sorta and may i add senior release is the best thing ever created sooo yahoo for that ...

fillie lock-in action tonight, SEE COLE AFTER WHOO HOO, then football game tomorrow then squad practice, then football BBQ that night, and then sunday alittle StuCO-nes and homework .... so thats the 3 day forcast and stay cool untill then ... bye kids

... if you read my blog then go comment ... the goal is ten comments here ... just write anything or if you dont know me write "odd-o" ... thats all this entry will be dedicated to and can not blog again until i get ten comments ... sooo there is the goal ... so go comment now soo i can blog again because i am obsessed with this thing .... 1-2-3 go comment ... wow this is like an exciting game adding spice to my life ... sorta sad really .... but just a reminder 10 comments is what i am looking for here ... more would be cool but im a loser soo 10 would be grand ...

today was my first day of school ... am a senior and i rule ... i am pretty cool ... and i can rhyme ... goodness being a senior is tight!

I had to say goodbye to someone else today ... least cool thing in life is being left behind and saying bye, i would rather say hi ... aww it was sad and i am going to miss him sooo sooo much! you know when you do that thing where you are like bye and then hug and are like bye and then hug and do it like 8 times ... yeah it was sorta like that ... ahh people stop leaving ... be a cool kid and just be a GHS groupie next year ... you can be the bum who sits in front of the school smoking cigs and telling freshmen about how you used to "own this school" .... yeah or not i dont know what i am talking about ...

sooo today is the last day of summer ... the last day of summer before high school ... i just got home from sonic, it is a tradition for kelly and i to go to sonic the last day of summer and watch the clock ... watch the minutes slip by infront of us ... at the end of each summer while sitting at sonic we say the same thing we always say "i wish i woulda done more" ... we talked about what we did do ... what we wished we did ... it was sorta routine ... and then the thought came to us that this was OUR LAST LAST DAY OF SUMMER TOGETHER being that if we choose to go to different colleges ... school will start on different days ... soo it was our last sonic end of summer day ... wow pretty crazy

well last night was my last night of summer aka last night to stay out and do stuff ... well i didnt, instead i finished my summer reading, i read A Walk To Remember and then watched the movie ... it was sad being that the book is sad and the movie is ... to most i bet staying home and reading on my last night of summer freedom would seem stupid and weird, but i enjoyed it ... i really did for some weird reason, i think it was the perfect end to summer ...

this weekend i went to look at colleges ... i saw Baylor and UT, i did not like Baylor ... it just was not for me ... but on to UT ... i was pleasently surprised, i really like Austin and i liked the campus and i just sorta did like it ... i dont see myself going there but if i had to go there i think it would be okay with me ... anyways while there i got to Ross and Karen, some cool kids they are, it was really awesome to see both of them and they seemed really happy at UT which was reassuring ... well anyways we went around the campus and they showed me stuff and then we went to the this really high hill that looked over Austin as the sun set ... and we met this guy ... and it was just a prime example of God putting you in the right place at the right time ... this guy was really smart and insiteful, he was probally 45 or soo and he was just telling us for hours about his life, about the things he learned, things he wished he woulda known, giving us life theory after life theory, informing us on politics and teachers and school and girls and guys and well everything ... he was smart no doubt about it ... well as the conversation progressed we got on the topic of God ... he knew everything about the Bible but was not a Christian ... soo we witnessed to him to the best of our ability ... and i will speak for myself when i say i didnt know enough, i couldnt back up what i believe enough ... i didnt know the facts or the history and so i felt weak ... i think God brought me that situation in my life to teach me that i need to learn ... i want to know so much more, i know what i believe and i know that my faith will never change, but God taught me an important lesson that night, a lesson that gave me ambition ... a desire to just know Him more ... i desire to know who what where when why how ... a desire to be a better witness ... just a desire to be better ... God is so incredible and continues to amaze me day in and day out ...

alright sooo summer evaluation ... wow i started this blog back in may ... not thinking much of it ... just as a way to keep my life on record ... to write down what i thought when i thought it and to learn about myself .... well looking back on my summer all i have to do is look back on this blog ... it has got it all ... but im just gunna give a quick sum up anyways... summer was perfect, it always is ... it was hard at times and i learned so many valuable life lessons ... im smarter than i was in may, im stronger than i was in may .... i met a lot of people who affected me and most made me a better person whether they realized it or not ... and i know that with the end of summer comes the end to lots of things ... but at least all those things started ... it happened and now its done ... man guys, i got to hang out with some cool kids ... thank you soo much for such a wonderful summer ..... and as sad as i am so see it end i am so excited that a new chapter is unrolling ... the chapter of senior year ... soo ill leave my summer with this ... ill end my last blog of the summer with this corny quote that sums it up all to well .... "Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened." .... just FYI im smiling right now ... wow all i can say is wow .... it was sooo incredibly off the charts outta this world .... beyond my expectations .... just sooooooo soooooo amazingly WONDERFUL ...

the cool thing about life is that you never know what is going to happened next, for instance this summer God brought some amazing people into my life who i hadent known before, who i am sooo glad i got to know ... and im gunna go ahead and list them ... Ross P, Grady, Jordan, David, Rachael, Elise, Stephanie, Emily, Paige, Ericka, Laurn, Molly, and Erin .... ya'll are all incredible and i had so much fun with you this summer ... and i as mad as i was that i didnt get to know you earlier, im so thankful that God brought you into my life when He did ... just wanted to say im glad i got to meet and become friends with you all .... thanks soo much for an awesome summer

okay now im really gunna end this thing .... and maybe i am dragging on and on because some part of me doesnt want it to be over .. doesnt want this to be my last blog of the summer ... but all good things have to come to an end .... sooo here it goes ....

God Bless,
Christine xoxo

alright day sum up ... went on el moto boato and did some Xtreme tubbing ... then went to christinas and made a snap cup lol ... it was just about the tackiest thing ever, but at the same time soo wonderful .. "snaps to us" ... then i went to the doctor and i hate them ... then went out with Ross and ate sushi and can i just say "wow" yeah it was real good (first time to eat it) i was surprised and then we saw a movie with sub-titles ... whole new experience and really neat ... ross is one cool kid .... all in all good day ...

i hate saying good-bye ... lets see i have had to say good-bye to more people this week then i probally have had to say to in my entire life ... no joke ... im not too good at it, i mean i dont cry or anything but i don't like it at all .... i really hate change so that could have something to do with it ... well its not that i hate change i just am scared of it ... everyone is scared of change though but without change i guess you would never get anywhere ... senior year dun dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ... wow thats so old ... im growing up too fast (haha i sound like a mom) but i am ... you know what will be esp. hard .... is saying hello and good-bye to cole in the time span of 2 days ... he gets home from 3 monthes at boot-camp the 22nd and leaves the 24th for OU ... thats rough, awww i cant wait untill next friday!!

i love high school ... gosh it is so cool ... i was talking to my grandfather and he was like "man i would give everything i have right now just to be 17 for a week" ... wow seventeen for a week ... i get to be 17 for another 9 monthes! this is prime time ... doesnt get much better than this ... im so happy and fortunate to be alive and be 17 ... how cool is that

well tomorrow i get to go and see Baylor and UT ... not sure why im going to see those since going to school in texas does not seem cool to me ... but ill give them a whirl ... plus i get to see ross ponder tomorrow soo thats real exciting! such a cool boy he is ... life is too good these days ... i would just like to say THANK YOU GOD :)

Christine

Nicknames: people refer to me as "hey blackest kid i know" ...

Asian name: hmm that question scares me ... i didnt know ppl could have asian names ... ill go with "ling ling you forgot your bling bling"

Zodiac Sign: those are things of satan

Chinese Zodiac: also things of satan ... and im not chinese

Siblings: my brother kevin who is not white ... or so he says

Weight: yes i will openly write that on my public blog ...

Piercings: haha wouldnt you like to know ...this is a sick survey i dont like it

Tattoos: same as above

Hobbies: attempting to not be white at dancing ...

Favorites Color: yellow like the sun and my car

Food: food is overrated ... except completely JK ... uhh ill go with the blue box mac and cheese ... the cartoon type

Drink (non alcoholic): Club soda ... hmm it sounds like gangsta drink ... sorta clubba?? yes i think so

Drink (Alcoholic): bring on the boose ... except drinking is bad so none

Movie: ferris buellers day off ... wow good stuff

Tv Show: ... boy meets world .... sister sister ... step by step ... full house ... saved by the bell .... man for the most part im all about those old school shows

Artists: BRITNEY SPEARS FAN .... co-president of fan club .... wow

Songs: anything by Britney

Car: i am a hobo i drive around a shopping cart which is like car but with a "t" .... hmm i only wish i were that cool --- actually Mercades SLK 230 Sport and it is the color of the sun aka yellow

Day of the Week: lets kill this quiz, why am i this bored

Book: go read Catcher in the Rye

Magazine: im too poor to buy them ... i read old newspapers which i use for blankets ... hobo'ish

Cigarettes: i like the smell (yes im weird) BUT SMOKING IS SICK ... you dont look cool, i promise ... i mean i know all about looking cool ... just ask me how to look cool w/o the cigs ill give out some mad advice ... (thats me trying to be cool but still am a dork)

Drug: drugs are for thugs (haha soo dorky)

Flowers: yeah the day someone buys me flowers...

Cologne/Perfume: lucky for guys = wow .... so does sexy for him ....

Pepsi or Coke: always coca cola

Coke or Sprite: please die quiz

Black or White: do i even have to answer that ...

Cold or Hot: yes i am hot


ARE YOU...

Shy or Outgoing: im a crazy mo

Tall or Short: tall-ish

Nationality: white ... or am i? dun dun dunnnnn

Best feature about yourself: hmm how conceited can i sound ...

Worst feature: im like robyn aka perfect lol

Do you resemble anything: probally either a hobo or a gangsta

What do you want most right now: i wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday ...

Do you want to get married: yes ... and i already have a bf of a year so im set

Around what age: 20 or so

How many kids: two

Do you believe in God/Jesus/Holy Spirit: yes i do and you should too ... God is amazing ... Jesus died for our sins ... and then Holy Spirit is in me ... good stuff

Last time you went to church: sunday

Do you pray: 24/7

Phrases or words you say a lot: shucks, mean-o and odd-o and hobo .... im trying to make myself sound like a dork-o

When is the last time you...

Went online: now ... are you serious this is gay

Went to school: we dont speak of school

Ran around naked: or not?

Sang a song: i sang the hobo song

Ate: who does that?

Drank: who does that?

Called Someone: i dont own phones... i live in a tree

Talked on the phone: seriously this hurts ... i dont have a phone .. rub it in why dont ya ...

Watched Tv: if i dont have a phone why the mo would i have a tv

Saw a Movie: i play sharades (sp??) it is like going to the movies ... we play it in a tree

Who is the last person you...

Talked to in life: talked to in life?? haha word it weirder please

Talked to on the phone: im crying ... i live in a tree stop harassing me

Kissed: sitting in a tree ... k-i-s-s-i-n-g ... im so mature

Gave your number to: what is a number?? i DONT HAVE A PHONE good gosh seriously all it is is PHONE PHONE PHONE ... i live in a tree give a hobo a break

Had a serious talk with: serious talk?? haha yeah ive tried and failed time after time ...

Yelled at: this dang survey for making fun of my "no phone-ness"

Cried for: i take it real personal when people rub things in ... its not my fault i live in a hobo house without phone

Rejected: i got all american rejected (gosh im a dork)

Got rejected by: what who? never

Chewed gum: Who’s the last person I chewed gum with? are you kidding me ... well i usually go over to people house and am like hey lets chew gum ... and thats why i have no friends and live in a tree

Played Spin the Bottle: never played it before ... somehow i feel my childhood is not complete

Played Truth or Dare: lets play now ... truth or dare ... you choose dare eh? i dare you to STOP READING THIS DANG THING ... if you are i am sorry but i thank you for being interested or probally bored enough to read this gay thing .... then again i was bored enough to take this gay thing ... so we are even ... hmm we could be friends ... and then you could come over to my tree and chew gum...

okay i decided that since everyone else decided to go on ahead and define friend that i would too ... and i know BBMak is gay and corny and what not ... but the lyrics to this song is my definition of a friend ... so take the time to read them, because they are pretty good ... and thats in a way the type of friend i strive to be ...



BBMak
Still On Your Side

I will stand up for you no matter what you are going through,
going through, going through

You found a place where you belong
New friends that can do no wrong
That's what you believe
But who is going to be there when you fall
To build up when you are feeling small
Give you love that you need
Who will, I will
When the whole world turns against you,
Ain't no lie

Don't you know that I will stand up for you
No matter what you are going through
I'm still on your side
Any time day or night
Don't care if it's wrong or right
I'm still on your side

You want to run you want to break free
What you want ain't what you need
Can't you see that I care
I know I'm hard on you sometimes
But when you are looking for the things you can't find
Don't you know who'll be there
Who will, I will
When it's more than you can handle
Ain't no lie

Don't you know that I will stand up for you
No matter what you are going through
I'm still on your side
Any time day or night
Don't care if it's wrong or right
I'm still on your side

I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there
I'll be there when you need me
I won't let you go
There's nothing I won't do I'll be there

Don't you know that I will stand up for you
No matter what you are going through
I'm still on your side
Any time day or night
Don't care if it's wrong or right
I'm still on your side

I will be around when the others let you down
I'm still on your side
Anytime you need help and you can't find nobody else
I'm still on your side

... yeah i dunno sounds like a pretty good friend to me ...

okay today i think i wrote the longest blog i have ever written in my life ... it was probally 5 pages and took me well over an hour ... it was not funny, not cute, not inspiring, and not fun to read ... but it was real, it was true, it was so personal ... i was debating on whether or not to post it publically and i decided not to, or atleast not to today ... it was really hard for me to write and it made me realize and learn a lot about myself ... i wrote it in response to a conversation i had last night and i guess i can go ahead and give the cliff notes version of this LONG blog i wrote ... its basically about how i made a really stupid decision and didnt realize the consequences of my actions ... its about how sheisty i feel/felt and its about how i mainly screwed up and ended up hurting someone i really really care about ... its about getting caught in some moment and then when the moment passes having to deal with the reality of it ... its about being dishonest, its about breaking some sorta unspoken trust ... its just about regret and about learning from it and it is about 100 times longer than this paragraph ... but yeah thats one thing i did today ...

as i am writing this it is raining outside ... rain is wonderful ... and it hailed too, which is just amazing to me weather is so amazing to me ... the creator of it is what is really amazing to me...

totally random but i found this quote today "it seems in life we strive to rebel and conform at the same time" ... hmm got me thinking and thats true atleast i think it is

...okay thats all
Christine

okay people keep bugging me to blog ... i find it sad when people im me and are like you didnt blog today!! and im like "okay hobo" and then they annoy me until i do (aka two hobos in particular) ...

but on with the blog ... ahh okay i cant be serious ... "there once was a hobo who lived in a tree ..hobo! hobo! .... with numerous bags of stolen keys! ...hobo! hobo! ... hobo in a tree....hobo in a tree... HOBOooooooooo....... steals from me!" ***note sing that song to the tune of sponge bob

soo so much for deep thoughts in this blog

okay now i would like to express the three reasons why i love hobos

1) they are little people, i picture them as short and in little shoes made out of pinewood
2) they live in tree houses ... with little shopping carts that they use as beds
3) because i am such a dork and think of using gay words such as "hobo"

i ask myself constantly how i became to be such a dork ... i really am, i ask kelly caulk if i can have a sleepover party with her dog?? i mean come on now .. i am a dork ... i am member of a britney spears fan club and freak out when pop star movies come out ... i ride around on skooters ... i actually keep running tallies of things such as "cool points" ... i sit in hobo houses ... i blast disney music from my car ... i actually downloaded a cd of just TV show theme songs ... i am a dork! flat out dork ... for crying outloud today i used the work "shucks" ...

thank you all for putting up with me anyways!

yes i know i already blogged today but once again God teaches me amazing things in short periods of time ... i like to think i am better and smarter than i was 8 hours ago when i last blogged ... soo today i talked with a really amazing person whom i love to death, she knows what she is doing and where she wants to go and how to get there ... she is so much stronger than me, and she is wonderful ... she has a huge passion for God and she just soo vividly displays it in what she does ... she made me realize a lot tonight, about how truely fragile life is and how in the long run none of the small petty stuff we consume our lives with matters ... i think she is fortunate in that God taught her a very important lesson early in life, a lesson that it takes some people their whole lives to learn ... she knows what really matters, and i am soo fortunate that God put her in my life and that she shared that lesson with me ...

tonight i was driving home and some deep thoughts came to me ... i realized that people always have this urge to drive fast, and i know i have the urge too ... we want so badly to get from point A to point B in the least about of time possible, people are always rushing ... they want so badly to get to the destination that they dont appreciate the beauty of the ride ... i am going to go ahead and quote my favorite movie of all time "Life moves by pretty fast if you dont stop and look around once in awhile you could miss it." sooo anyways tonight i took the long way home and decided to go 5 under ... i realized i was in no rush so i just enjoyed the ride ... then i decided to go 10 under ... (note ** there were no cars around and i was on some back back roads) ... well anyways going 10 under i saw things in more detail than at 5 under ... so i decided to go 15 under or half the speed limit and i saw things clearer ... then i decided to just take my foot of the gas and coast ... i was coasting, i had no worries, no where to be, and time was not a factor ... i was just enjoying the ride ... enjoying this wonderful life God has blessed me with ... my message is that every once in awhile we all should "coast" ... "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."

i truely do hope God Blesses you beyond anything you could comprehend .... There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a
miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. – Albert
Einstein.

<3 Christine

there is so much more to life than grapevine texas! gosh i seem to forget there is a bigger world out there, bigger then high school, bigger then fillies, bigger then what car you have, bigger then going to the mall, bigger then what clothes you wear, bigger then hanging out with friends, bigger then "who likes who", bigger then college, bigger then "what am i going to do tonight", bigger then well bigger then all this .... its sooooo much bigger ... it gets me thinking about what really matters --- summer is winding down, so i gotta say its been a good summer, im different then when i went into it, i think im better than when i went into it, i learned a lot, i changed ... i made a ton of mistakes and i did a lot of stuff right ... each summer has been better than the last ... but i was thinking back to summer after freshmen year, the summer of freshmen year... i was so innocent, life was sorta simple, i got to think you know i had everything i wanted that summer i was secure ... wow there are not many times in life when you can say that word and mean it ... but truth be it i was...see that summer everything was new ... take fillies for instance see that year it was exciting it was my first year, everything was new and just being there and getting to dance with those kids and on that team was special, or well like i said i was just innocent to everything from friends to guys to everything ... and then there was summer after soph. year --- slowly grew to be annoyed with fillies, but it was still cool and i still liked it and appreciated it, and that summer i like to call the summer of random ppl, random places, and random relationships or there lack of...and i guess i became less innocent to all that stuff, but it was a good summer, that summer i went to europe and gained some sort of new appreciation, i began to realize slowly that the world is sooo big and i am so small, i saw and learned to love the fact that i was blessed enough to live in the good ol' usa ... then you take this summer ... all im gunna say is two things, it was fun and its not over .... so i guess i can talk about it later .... school starts in a week from monday ... it just amazes me the kind of progress you make in your life, i cant wait for this upcoming year to progress ... im 3X as smart as i was 3 years ago sooo im excited to apply what i have learned in and out of the classroom ...

lately i find myself doing really stupid things that i know are stupid but choose to do them anyways ... it really doesnt make any sense -- it just another thing in life i gotta work on

i was talking to some people the other week and someone was telling me how they were with this amazing guy and how they dont know what happened and how they didnt know what changed and all that stuff .... and as i was trying to consoul with them i said something that actually made a little bit of sense... i said "okay lets say that in your life you meet 100 absolutely amazing guys, well truth is you are only meant to be with 1% of them ... soo loosing the other 99% is how it is supposed to be" ... i dont know if it made sense to her but it sure did make sense to me ... and something about that statement is really pretty true ...

another thing i would like to add is that okay lets say there are these two really amazing shirts that you have to have ... but you can only afford to and are only allowed to have one so therefore you have to choose .... and you think to yourself "i want them both ... they are both soooo coool" .... so you have a terrible time choosing .... the problem is not that you love both shirts too much, it is that you dont love either of them enough ... --- yeah thats pretty deep if you think about it and take it to the next level ... try replacing the word "shirt" with something else ...

alright well God Bless!
Christine

hmmm people are so weird ... for instance last night im at kelly caulks and kelly p takes the strings of my swimsuit and holds them like a horse thing or something ... yeah i know its werid

okay another weird thing im riding in the car with kristin and we are talking about molesters and she is like its okay for people to act like molesters just as long as they really are not ... and then she says you act like a retard and you really are not so its the same thing .... and i just thought to myself "haha its not at all the same and you are WEIRD like kp"

then today amy is weird because i sooo have the masta bling bling powers and she DID NOT give me an award and she is weird because she flants (haha) her ribbons all over her room as if they mean nothing to her and here i have my ONE ribbon in like a frame ... so i took the liberty to hang her ribbons up outta respect for me

another weird one is kelly c ... now she has the power of bling bling as well, but she is werid because she likes the strawberry shortcake snowcone which tastes like complete crap ... but she does have the power of Britney soo i feel she is the most normal of them all

then you have michelle who is like "hey christine guess who i saw last night, thomas!" and i am like "hey michelle i was with you!" ... what a weirdo

and there is erika who plays jock jams in her car ... and watches jack frost and goes on scavenger hunts! what an odd-o

oh lets not forget chelsea who text messages me mrs prices home address ... haha actually that was dang cool but werid ...

now you see all these people are weird but because of their mass weirdoness i love them!! they are some cool kids!! i love how odd they are because no joke i am a werido as well ... but i do also have the power of Britney so i am obviously less weird ... but yes this is just to say i heart you all sooo much!!

God Bless!
Christine

okay so today i was on the internet ... and since i tend to be a dork i was like hmmm diamonds and decided to look at pretty engagement rings online (yes i already said i am a dork) sooo anywho im looking and i come across a link that said "THE 40 BEST IDEAS OF HOW TO PURPOSE" sooo i was like "hmm this should be interesting" so i clicked and as i read through them i said for probally the 100000th time in my life "what is this world coming to" because they were so funny and gay and okay here are some of them so you can see for yourself ....

17. Create a personal Web page with her name and your proposal with a picture of the diamond in its velvet presentation box, and send her the Web address. Or sit down together to surf for good vacation sites, and visit a site or two before you type in the site address.

okay now honestly what hell?? if someone were to do anything internet related in a purposal i would have to just roll over laughing saying "are you freaking kidding me"

24. E-mail a 3-D animated graphic of a loose diamond, with the message, "Will you marry me?" If you can, time the delivery of the e-mail when you can be there in person to see her reaction and get your answer.

okay now email ... thats cute really now, a 3D diamond, what the frack is that all about??

33. If she likes cute stories, you could make a storybook of two animals (with your names) falling in love and getting engaged. Take two stuffed animals, put a coathanger in their backs to make them hold a position, then set up the animals to act out the story while you take photos. Type the words to the story on your computer and paste them to each page. Write the last page to say, "Will you marry me?", with a picture of the diamond in its presentation box. Take it all to a printer to have it bound as a booklet, then present the book at a private moment at home. Be ready with the real diamond when she gets to the last page.

hahaha puppets?? what the heck?? thats real romantic, let me hold up freaky animals on coathangers
34. If you have a talking bird or parrot, train it to say, "Will you marry me?" And make a big show with the new words he has learned -- at a romantic moment.

first of all if you had a talking bird, thats gay and i would never marry you anyways ... and can i just say "hahahaha" who the hell would train a bird to say "will you marry me" and more importantly who the hell would say yes to a bird ... and i loved the part where it says "make a big show" thats freaking halarious

36. If she has been waiting for her "big chicken" to finally ask her: Arrange to meet her for lunch where she works. Rent a Big Bird costume from the local theatrical shop and wear it on the way. She won't know who it is inside, so write a card that says you have been sent by a dear friend (so she won't recognize your voice). Show another card that asks her name to confirm she is the right woman. Then give her a paper bag with a large plastic easter egg in it (one of the ones that open with candy inside). Inside the egg, put the diamond box and a message, "Will you marry me?"

OKAY NOW THIS ONE IS THE FUNNIEST DANG THING I HAVE EVER HEARD ... rent a big bird costume??? come on now?? are you serious??? thats the gayest thing ever ... put the ring in an egg??? are you fracking kidding me?? thats soo incredibly creepy i can not even put it into words --- GUYS NEVER EVER EVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!

now the true beauty of all those purposals is that i got them off a serious website...it was not some joke thing, it was off a site where you could buy a book with the other 200 grand ideas of "How to give her the engagement of her dreams" .... yeah now that i think about it i would love for a guy to dress as a chicken and put my ring inside an egg ... now on the count of three can we all say "what is the world coming to??" --- man those gave me some good laughs ... feel free to comment because those are the most ridiculous things i have ever heard, and although i am a dork i am not that dorky to even remotely consider any of those cute or romantic .... soo tell me i am sane

God Bless
Christine

ahh yes fillies was 8 hours long today ... enough said

im trying real hard to think of something cool to write or some way to interpret something deep and cool into this but im really not in the mood to think something up so i stole this ...

okay these are "rules for living" but some were gay soo i only have the good ones in here


1.Know Thyself – Socrates. From ancient Greece comes this
reminder that introspection, keeping a journal, paying attention to
the heart of things, comes first. Before we can know the world
around us, and make wise choices, we must first come to grips
with who we are and what we value.

3.And the Greatest of These is Love – St Paul. He also observed
that "without love I am just a clanging symbol or a noisy gong."
Without love, caring relationships, and compassion, life is indeed
a dry and shallow thing.

5.Too much of a good thing is just right – Mae West. The good life is
about living large, about expressing the joy and love of life. It's
about song, exuberance, and about taking chances, and "going
for it".

6.Opportunities multiply as they are seized – SunTzu. Success
depends on the courage to act, and courage in turn requires a
level of faith that every opportunity acted upon will lead to more
and better ways to serve, learn, grow and prosper.

10.There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a
miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. – Albert
Einstein.


God bless!

christine

ive just been at fillies for the past 8 hours ... talk about long long long day full of no fun ... full of kicking and kicking and mean crowd pleasers ppl ... and yet some how i had a good time! lol yes i dont know how because nothing was fun about it, and i was all gross and sweaty and the girl i had to hook up with for the kick, her arm was soo gross and wet and i was like ahhh with a look of disgust but still i managed to have an okay time ... hmmm that is for sure the prime example of making the best of a bad situation because nothing about today was fun ... yet i still had fun

i seem to be able to have fun in most whatever i do ... or whatever i dont do ... i will say i usually try to do something every single night and stay out as late as possible but there are those nights were i just want to sit ... like just sit .... i sit outside or by the tv or i go out and shoot hoops and just something about being alone is very cool ... because when you are alone is when you are the most not alone .... okay let me explain, when you are alone is when you have the most time for God and you get to think about Him or talk to Him soo i never feel lonely when alone ...

okay lately i seem to want to let go of people... like for instance all the people leaving for college like i seem to not want to see them, ahh i know that sounds bad, but i dont want to see them because i dont want to miss them more than i already will ... i like just want to be like "dont talk to me" because with each time i see them or with each word they say i grow to love them even more and more and so i like intentionally blow them off or its like i just want some of them to get mad at me sooo i dont have to say goodbye and so i wont miss them --- yeah that may not make sense but lately when ppl are like "i leave in less than a month" i think to myself "i dont want to see you for the rest of this month" and thats so bad i do realize but i dont see the point in getting more attached to people who you are about to be torn away from ... thats why lately i am hanging out with people in my grade or younger ... which is cool and all but okay now side two of the story

i also am like dude i want to see you and do everything i can with you and get to know you as much as possible because you are about to leave .... and i want to take it to that next level even if it is just for a month or i want to go deeper or farther because its "now or never" ...

dunn dunn dunnnnn flash back blog time once again!!

...okay so on to a new topic, today i was talking to my grandfather and he always asks me the same question and that is : There are four things in life - wealth, good looks, smartness, and health? and he tells me to pick three of the four --- well everytime i pick wealth, good looks, and health --- i dont know if that is a superficial answer, maybe it is --- i probally should pick to be smart and have knowledge of life but for some reason i cant manage to give up one of the other choices ... the crazy thing about this question is that some people dont HAVE any of the four things listed above and here i am having a hard time narrowing it down to 3?!?! yeah i dunno try answering it...its hard...

my grandfather is in town sooo this made me think of this ... this is from a May 7, 2003 blog and feel free to comment with your answer

God Bless!
Christine

i went to church today at fellowship ... i started going to that church at age 8, when it had a couple hundred members or so ... we slowly watched it grow and 9 years later it has 18,000 ppl ... pretty amazing i will admit, now just a few monthes ago we stopped going there ... we felt the church was selling itself more than God and for other reasons ... well we went today for the first time in awhile and i gotta say i take back some of my harsh words concerning that church .... the drama today was amazing and as i saw all those ppl there i stood in awe and was like this is cool because atleast they are at church, atleast they are hearing this message concerning God .. and you know i used to be all like "this is a social church ppl go wednesdays just to hang out and jazz" but even if that is why they go ATLEAST they are going and hearing alittle bit of God, its better than them hanging out at a bar or something --- so moral of the story, i am no longer anti-fellowship church, infact i think its great, i think its great that it attracts so many ppl and even if it attracts them for the wrong reasons atleast they are there learning a little something about God there

my message for today is LET GO AND LET GOD .... i need to do that, see in the long run EVERYTHING matters ... i mean each little thing that i do affects others ... i gotta watch what i do ... i try really hard to be a strong solid Christian but its hard, this world is just such a sick place and there are so many temptations and so many things and people here that distract me ... sooooooo sooooo hard but i gotta keep going and not give in ... because in the end its all gunna be so beyond worth it ... i can only imagine :)

well today went shopping aswell, went to a fillie social officer meeting and watched Truman Moive ... fun day except not really

tomorrow is fillies 8 AM - 5 PM

let go let God let go let God .... thats what will get me through it and everything else in life

Christine

alright two day sum up ... whooo hoooo

friday --- went to fillies where we did victory line sheist and i got to sing "on the threshold of jason" for the first time in awhile ... then we all went on k.caulks boat...and did some mass tubbing and it was exciting madness .... then saw grady for the first time in week, and thats about all yall

saturday --- went to a BBQ @ kristins then ...? i dont know yet because the day is not over

i have learned something new yet again ... i know who i want to marry!! haha i know it sounds odd but i know ... and i think only one person knows who i am talking about, but its not that i want to marry this exact guy but i do want to marry someone like him, he has direction and i think he is one of the only kids i know who knows exactly what he wants to do and exactly where he wants to go in life, i swear he already has like a 10 year plan ... and ive known him for like 3 years and when someone asks me what kinda guy do you want to marry, his name just pops to mind ... sooo yeah just a random thought for the day

hmmm yeah im weird i know .... real weird, i just used to think i wanted to live spontaniously but lately i want to know what is coming next, i want to be prepared, i want to have a plan ... i dont want to keep getting caught up in the moment, i want to be responsible, control my actions and reactions to situations ... i want to be logical and the problem is that thats not me, i am always the person who is like "what if or it could happen" and i always seem to think that anything is possible and that life will take you where you need to go, but i am slowly realizing everyday that you gotta make things happen in life ....

and moral of the story is that i want a 10 year plan ...

GOd blESS
christine